Constante revolución interna...

Los domingos te encuentran desprevenida, quizá resacosa o quizá los encuentras tú antes de tiempo, horas antes de lo que te gustaría.

Cuando te ocurren muchas situaciones internas en un solo día, necesitas asimilar. Yo soy de asimilación lenta y aquí me hallo hoy, asimilando... A veces la impaciencia llama a tu puerta y tú solo quieres que pase el tiempo, que cambien las tornas, que brilles con el sol y que te encuentres tan abierta que sólo puedas encontrar bonitos episodios escritos para ti. Sin embargo, para encontrarte receptiva necesitas tiempo y simplemente asimilar. Coger fuerza, respirar, aprender de otras personas que puedan aportarte luz, respetarte y sentir todas las emociones que pasen por ti.

He decidido abrazar con fuerza y creer en este periodo de transición, adónde quiera que me lleve,  donde mande el destino y el corazón.

Step by step.

She flies.

I have not seen her yet, but she is the DragonflyGirl. I am sure she knows how to fly. 

That's why she knows how to escape too. And that's why you have to approach her step by step.

As well as you approach on an alley cat and you do not want that runs away from.

Step

by

Step.

Sunday morning.

It is Sunday morning.

These days are days where people think about more. 

These are days where there is reheated pizza and you regret of things you did, or you did not.

They say Sundays are days where you don't take out your pyjama, days to go to eat an ice cream in the evening.

Days of hearing the same song that you end up hating.

Days of family meals.

Days to go to your village and days of sunglasses.

Days of  "Nothing happens to me" but that shouts "Everything happens to me, hugh me"

It is Sunday. It is a beautiful Sunday.

M.   The Vaccines - I Always Knew

I am in a hurry to move.

"The last time I trod shipwrecks, you put me a bell on the lap and you told me: You'll never know if it is of sheep or of snake. But it is the love."

I remember you in the last autumn.

"You are sad, you don't understand you,

you are angry with the calendar

but Sundays are not to blame.

Anytime is good time to dream about traveling with me

and washing the face to sadness

You have too much rancor."

The true is that I don't hold grudges

for lack of space

I decided not enlarger the pain,

I don't want it.

Maybe months pass

and you remind us,

like two rainy days of autumn,

like a romance book,

like an inspiration,

or maybe I will remember things

I've forgotten.

I walk away from you.

You don't forget me,

Don't forget, and don't talk to me,

I am in a hurry to move.

M.

Feelings about Guernica painting

Guernica is a famous picture painted by Pablo Picasso between May and June  of 1937 of which the tittle alludes to bombing of Guernica city in April 26 in the same year. It was exhibited in Spanish pavilion to bring the Spanish public to Republican size in Spanish Civil War and now, it is situated in The Prado museum.

It is strange for me to talk about what a picture makes me feel because, I must confess it, I had never thought that a picture can make you feel feelings, but this shocking, strong and catastrophic picture that reflects the discomfort and chaos in the Spanish Civil War, as far as I am concerned, makes me feel overwhelmed, messy, as if everything was a desaster and I could not defend myself at the adversity. Their faces are heartbreaking, shouting and they are able transmit to myself their anguish, and make me feel alone, sad, like when you remember something you don't like about your past and you revive this again. They make me feel like if the world was over and anyone could remedy it.

Sadness, loneliness and chaos. 

True heroes are not known

All we know that some of the most important people in the world are our grandparents. Their wisdom exceed our mind and we feel that we will never know as much as them. 

My grandfather is an average person that has not been in the history books, but he is an anonymous hero that fought a lot for his family.

He was born in the 30s and at the present he is eighty five years old, although he is still physically and psychically strong. 

When he was younger, he had curly dark hair and dressed with a classy tie and a perfect suit which covered his body at important events. Right know, he wears them too. (Good customs doesn't change).

He was tall, attractive and was a very hardworking man who was always shaved. All girls were crazy for him. He is still a very intelligent man and always has and important sentence to tell you. He always has the magic way to make you a better person. The sentences that I've listened more of him are "Life is fight"  and "Every man learn until the death". He is a wise and a very coherent person.

I love listening all the stories of his life because he fought a lot to eat and survive, but right now he is proud about everything he has earned. He had a difficult life that lived without his mother because unfortunately, she died. In addition, his father worked all day and he was the oldest of seven brothers and sisters.

He worked a lot to study and  he achieved being a  machinist.

Also My grandmother met him like in a film way. Maybe one day I will write about it.

I have always had a beautiful grandparent-grandchild relationship and as a rule, when I was a child, he took me to school and brought me gums of several flavors.  I can remember that they were the best days of the week. 

I have already assumed I'll never know about life like him. 

M.

Fear

Fear of storms.

Fear of loneliness.

Fear of the darkness.

Fear of failure.
Fear of losing my family.

Fear of my dog dies.

Fear of not finding myself.

Fear of forgetting myself.

Fear of talking around people I don't know.

Fear of living in the past.

Fear of seeing my parents in their old age.

Fear of not seeing them in their old age.

Fear of feeling disappointed by a real friend.

Fear of a real friend be disappointed by me.

Fear of not finding us again.

Fear of opening myself to people who want to know me.

Fear of having a serious illness.

Fear of people who I love having it.

Fear of feeling lower than others.

Fear of the society.

Fear of not being faithful to my principles.

Fear this day will end without a real smile.

Fear of waking up to find I'm old and I threw away my life.

Fear of not loving and fear of not being loved enough.

Fear that my dreams won't come true.

Fear of don't live my own life.

Fear of showing my fears in public.

Fear of having so many fears.

I've said that.

M.